|
[12 Apr 2009|05:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Jason |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Don't say you love me |
] |
this is jason and i just discovered penny's login shit for her. which means she's back on lj! pen and jay are back on lj. you know you love us. xoxo pbj
|
|
|
[29 Apr 2007|08:10pm] |
|
i think im depressed and my birthday is in 2 days.
|
|
|
[11 Apr 2007|10:12pm] |
it really sucks when you are in your room and your mom is in hers. and you hear her talking on the fone about you.
life...please get better. i cant take it anymore =(
|
|
| processional night<3 |
[13 Dec 2006|12:44am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
O COME O COME EMANUEL |
] |
where do i begin...okay so yesterday was processional night. nobody really knows what that means or is but the people who do know its something thats very special...i cant explain it here because its supposed to be kept a secret and not supposed to be ruined for the people who are soon to be in mixed choir. alright so i think i really surprised a lot of people. everyone told me they were in shock wen i spoke. im not someone who was like an expected speaker. but after hearing a lot of juniors speak i realized. im a senior. a lot of my friends are seniors along with other ages but the seniors really didnt speak. and i dk why that was i think because when you are sitting there listening to everyone u lkike really get so overwhelmed and upset and just speechless from the silence. but okay so i wasnt some who was expected to speak but i really knew if i didnt speak i would totally regret it. honestly everything i said came straight from my heart. i meant every minute and second of what i said. even though every second i would start hysterically crying and have to cry on jasons shoulder and almost stop talking i would look at jess and see her telling me. pen keep going. so i would. i said a lot of things...im not gonna say it here becuase that would have definately ruined the whole purpose of processional night. but i really am going to miss all of my friends when they leave. oh wonderful im tearing up again.
while i spoke i heard janna say to me. thanks penny u made me cry. im really happy i had an effect on people....not only people but the closest people to me. after i spoke i got jason to speak. if you dont know. jason is my bestfriend...when he spoke i started crying even more. i really love him so much. and to be quite honest...i never knew i had such strong feelings for a friend. but i do...about jason. hes the most amazing thing that ever happened to me...and im so lucky to have him. i love you<3 after jason spoke colie spoke. it really meant a lot.
after it was over....i was so shocked i said something...or should i said...cried infront of 100 people who are in a class with me. it was so weird to know i had the guts to do that. i guess when you arewith people you love. you can really explain things. and let things out...it felt good.
after the whole speaking stuff was over...everyone just got up...and hugged and stuff. max came up to me first and it really meant a lot to me. he told me i made him cry...not only him...but a lot of people told me i made them cry aswell. max also told me...im really appreciated now and looked at differently...im happy. as i was hugging max...someone else came up to me and was rubbing my arm...i looked up and it was joey. i gave him such a big hug. to know that he came up to me...to see how i was really meant sumthing to me...honestly i hugged people i would never think i would hug. i cried on people it was just so touching. after it was over i got this feeling of completness in me. that im civil with everyone...i dont want any problems. i mean come on...me n someone who i thought i hated fixed everything. i mean after 2 or 3 years of hating this person for absolutely the stupidest reason was dumb. okay but bak on track.
so as everyone is hugging me n jason look at eachother give eahcotehr the tightest hug. and just cry to eachother. telling how we love eahcother so much. and how tonite really taught us that. that moment was so amazing<3
its senior year. my last everything.
all i have to say is. i have to cherish every moment i have left of this year with my friends. everyones leaving...and its a really tough thing for me. i wish we can put a hold on this year...and be with my friends forever. but that isnt reality and life goes on. but im going to try so hard to love every second i have left.
processional night 2006-2007 was like an epiphany for me
i love everyone so much...and im always here for whoever needs me...but also i realized. life isnt about the WHAT...its about the WHO<3
|
|
|
[19 Nov 2006|01:23pm] |
im not happy.
im not going to italy.
ill update later.
but im really. not happy
|
|
|
[23 Oct 2006|11:13pm] |
i was ATTACKED by a cat. i hate cats.
i love max.
but i HATE cats.
|
|
|
[18 Oct 2006|09:41pm] |
|
okay i really dont even know how to start this but i figured if i expressed how im feeling maybe it will help. okay so lately ive been really upset because of my friends situation. as of right now i feel like i dont even have a group of friends. i feel like everyone secretely hates eachother excluding me. i love all of my friends. it kills me seeing whats happening. everyone is drifting...we never do things together n e more. ever. it makes me so upset. everyone is leaving in their own direction. it makes me just wanna cry because we used to have so much fun. and i dont know if this is like just temporary...but i reallky hope so. i hate this. it makes me like sick. i look at peoples pictures. seeing how much fun they have and how much they all love eachother. but then i look and now me n my friends NEVER have pictures, plans, funny videos ( with the exception of me and daniela) but im mean like...my group. i really wish whatever happened here didnt. i kno we all really love eachother a lot. and we all know we all can have the best time together. people who just look at us would think wow u guys are so lucky u have this. like...and i think about it and think. i wish i had it. bc its no longer existant. and now im thinking about ...what if this is how my life is wen college comes. everyone is leaving. and im gonna be here alone. i dk how im gonna live. my friends are really the only reason im so happy. and now im not because of whats happening. i hope everyhting really makes a huge u-turn and goes back to the fun group we are. =( please.
|
|
|
[12 Oct 2006|02:19am] |
okay so dance started. and its totally not the same. daniela wrote a really good entry about it so im gonna quote it...this was a few days before dance started::
"I don't want to go back to dance. Something's making me not want to go. I think I got so used to being all social and having fun and now it's like, okay. dance mode. I don't even want to teach. Nor does Penny so I'm not the only one. I think because Miss Camille's not there. It's so weird. We NEED her back. Like, absolutely need her. This studio isn't going to last if she stays there. Mark my words. Penny and I really don't get the credit we deserve. NOBODY understands the things we do for that school. We really do so much. We would do anything at the drop of a hat. I'm so done. I cannootttt handle this all. What happened to senior year being good? I NEED SUMMER. I need the people who matter back into my life."
-daniela pavlovic.
well yeah its really rough. i mean coming home and crying everyday its really wearing me out. honestly nobody does understand what daniela and i do. i hope this year gets better. i really do...come home please. we need u.
=(
<3pen
|
|
|
[30 Aug 2006|07:04pm] |
alright well. i was thinking about how its my senior year. and its totally weird. i can remmeber my first day of kindergarten. i hate how life is going to fast. like seriously this is the last year im ever gonna have to like go to have the first day of high schoool. one week. its just so weird. i like cant think of myself as a senior. and being a senior is so exciting...like senior prom. yeah i really dk what to do about it. like everyone has a date.and its just the begining of the year and it gives me left with 3 people. i dk what to do its so hard. like i wish i saved senior prom to go with my bestfriend because that would have been amazing. but ofcourse we went to jr prom together. whatever it bothers me but ill go with sumone else. i hope. i hope i find sumone to go to my senior prom with. =(
comment?
|
|
|
[30 Aug 2006|12:48am] |
this summer was the most aamazing summer of my life.
im speechless.
thankyou all of my friends who helped make it so great.
ps. i need to say how i sorted out everything after talking to ben at ginas house. wow.
and now...
im blah. why cant i ever feel happy about n e one?!
whatevs.
comment
<3
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
penk589's journal